Do not let things you cannot control consume your mind. Easier said than done, I will admit. This is a life lesson taught to me by my Dad when I was in my teens. Did I follow his words of wisdom then? I’d say no, but it wasn’t until I got older that I realized what an important and necessary tool this is for living a successful and stable life. I have mastered this mindset so much so that my husband often remarks that he feels like he is married to a robot. LOL. Maybe you don’t need to take it as far as I have over time, but learning to control your emotions even slightly more than you do today is going to put you on a different level. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and upset when things don’t go as planned. I have found that it’s okay to be mad, it’s okay to be disappointed, but the true key to success is to move on from these thoughts and feelings as quickly as possible. You will become a better and more present parent, spouse, friend & employee. Here are my quick tips to work towards this goal.
Understanding the Nature of Control: Boy, do I love to be in control. Nothing makes me feel better than the ability to control any situation. I guess this probably stems from being a business owner. I would love to say I can fix anything, and usually that is the case for most situations, but it’s crucial to understand that control is an illusion. While we may have influence over some aspects of our lives, many circumstances lie beyond our reach. Recognizing this fundamental truth can help us shift our mindset and free ourselves from unnecessary stress and frustration.
Embracing Acceptance: Acceptance is the key to finding serenity amidst chaos. That is literally the first thing I do in a moment that is out of my control. ACCEPT IT HAPPENED. By acknowledging that certain situations are outside our control, we can redirect our energy towards accepting and adapting to them. Embracing acceptance does not mean we become passive; instead, it empowers us to focus on what we can change and make the best of the circumstances we find ourselves in.
Positive Mindset: Maintaining a positive mindset is probably the hardest of the 4 tips. Defiantly the one I struggle with the most. To be honest most times I just revert back to my “go-to” positive affirmations. “You’re alive, your kids are safe and this event didn’t take down your business”. By consciously choosing to focus on the positive aspects of our lives, we can shift our perspective and find silver linings even in challenging moments.
Developing Coping Strategies: Developing healthy coping strategies is essential when dealing with uncontrollable situations. For some, this may be exercise, journaling, or even going for a walk. For me, it is just to keep moving in general. “Onto the next task,” as I like to say. Keeping my mind busy with things unrelated to the problem helps me move forward quicker. I won’t lie, on the morning my father passed away I went to work hours later. Everyone told me to take some time off but that is not how I operate best. Going to work grounded me in those early hours and days of accepting his passing. If i had stayed home I probably would have lost my mind.
I think what is most important to remember; above all is every person is different. We all handle stressors, life inconveniences and tragedies in our own way. My take home message is to not let things that are out of your control control you. As you develop this ability you will look back and see just how much time you spent being upset about things that didn’t matter weeks later anyway. No matter how much time, effort and emotion you put into a situation that didn’t go your way it’s still never going to be in your control. So, take a deep breath, let go, and move forward in life. You’ll thank me later.
